Opinion

Seven tell tale signs on Instagram that you’re a Melbourne girl

Written by Claudia Dashwood

They say you can tell a lot about a person from their Instagram.

What’s their colour theme? Is their bio funny or sarcastic? Are they a serial selfie taker or a group photo uploader? Where are they from?

If you compare Instagram profiles of a throng of Melbourne girls, there are seven things in common. Here are the top seven ways on Instagram to tell you’re a girl from good ol’ Melbourne.

Read at your own risk, as you may identify with these signs way too much.

1.Whether it be the cocktails, the food, or posing with either, Mr Miyagi has appeared at least once in your feed.

Kick off your Saturday night with a bite and cocktail (or two) at Chapel Street’s Mr Miyagi, as long as your willing to wait for a table at the Insta-renown restaurant. With thousands of posts at the location, it’s a crime not to post on social media when the opportunity arises. Don’t forget to add a sushi or noodles emoji, though, otherwise you might find yourself on the brink of a false Mr Miyagi ‘gram.

2.Even if you don’t go that often, you live and breathe F45.

Ah, the fitness fad that’s taken the Melbourne gym world by storm. 45 minutes of a high intensity circuit with your fitness family is exactly what you need every morning… or once in a while. F45 is great for your physical health, mental health, and Instagram health. It isn’t an F45 session if it isn’t posted about with the appropriate tags and hashtags.

Session done for the day 🙌🏻😅 Love my @f45_training_heidelberg family! ❤️💙 Now for some intervals to train for my 33km charity run in November! Quick 30 min running interval session: -15 mins gradual increase (increase by 0.3km each min- I start on 12 and get to about 15.5) -8 mins: 30 seconds jog (12 for me)/ 1 min run (17.5 for me) – 7 mins: 40 seconds sprint (18.5-19 for me)/ 20 seconds rest (jump off- BE CAREFUL practise first- I have fallen off before and it hurts A LOT… The embarrassment probably hurts more though 😆) Remember to adapt to YOUR level. You may be way fitter than me (so up the speed) or new to running (bring the speed down and walk instead of jog.) Just make sure when you are doing the run and the sprints you push yourself- after each sprint your legs should feel like jelly!! Results happen out of your comfort zone- learn to push yourself out of yours and embrace it! I promise you the harder you push the better the feeling is afterwards!!!

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3. Don’t lie, there’s a ‘plandid’ picture at a winery.

It’s a Saturday afternoon, what better way to spend it than venturing out of suburbia and into acres of vineyards and picturesque countryside. It’s just so aesthetically pleasing that there’s no other choice but to upload a ‘plandid’ – the newest Instagram trend that’s a hybrid of a planned candid. There will also most certainly be a wine emoji in the caption, not that anyone knew you drinking wine at a winery or anything.

4. Spring is nearly upon us, do you know what that means? A flooding of photos at the races, of course.

The feeling of winter nipping at your skin every time you step outside is over. You’re in the swing of Spring, and with that, come the carnival and racing season bombarding your newsfeed every week. Can you get away with outfit repeating the same dress you wore to a winery a few weeks beforehand? If you post enough photos of the races to distract your followers, you might just get away with it.

5. Sorry, have you been to Europe? I couldn’t tell from the 100 posts in June and July.

Positano coastlines, the quirky buildings of Cinque Terra, the astonishingly blue waters of Greece, and, last but not least, a Sail Croatia trip you will “never forget”. While some of Melbourne were bearing the brunt of winter, other Melbourne girls were basking under the European sun. Cue a memory from the Europe trip being brought up at almost every gathering. The one year anniversary or #TBT post might also been on the horizon you always seem to be looking at in every Europe photo.

A time when there were no essays to write or bills to pay

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6. Did you even go to a hipster, possibly vegan breakfast cafe if you didn’t insta it? Yes (read: no).

Whether you’re having a decadent avo smash, matcha burger buns (yes, they’re green), or vegan eggs (I still wonder how), the Insta breakfast is the most important and published meal of the day. If you haven’t tried Matcha Mylkbar or Penta Elsternwick, do you even live in Melbourne? *Insert caption with witty food puns*.

7. Yes, Melbourne has a photo-worthy skyline, how else are you going to show your appreciation for it other than visiting a rooftop bar?

You can’t just go to any normal bar in Melbourne, it has to be one with an Instagram-able backdrop that shows all the non-Melbournians that yes, you’re from Melbourne. The rooftop bar proves it. Case closed.

What a lovvvvely Sunday 🍸🎨🛍🍒🍓🌞 our day summed up in emojis @alyshadasilva @billieperry

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Are you guilty of at least five of the aforementioned signs? Congratulations. You are a certified and verified Melbourne girl.

The proof is in the ‘gram.

About the author

Claudia Dashwood

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