Rosalie’s father was diagnosed with lung cancer amid Melbourne’s second lockdown.
At first he was given months to live but then died suddenly at age 70 weeks later. Rosalie and her two children fought hard to get an exemption to fly to Sydney to say goodbye. They were denied multiple times despite adequate proof.
Rosalie Attieh thought she heard wrong. Weeks to live, that’s what the doctors had told her father. She’d done the one-hour trip to Sydney millions of times before. Her suitcase sits on the top shelf, easily accessible for spur of the moment trips.
When she put the phone down, her first instinct was to pack a bag and get straight on a plane. But after more than four months in lockdown, Rosalie knew she wasn’t going anywhere.
Scrambling calls to the New South Wales border hotline. Every document they wanted, she fought to get. Every bit of proof they needed she had. But somehow that wasn’t enough.
Rosalie described the restrictions as “inhumane”.
“It’s heartbreaking, how could they tell me I can’t be there with my family to say goodbye to my dad,” she said.
Rosalie was forced to say goodbye to her father through her TV screen.
Rosalie says they weren’t allowed to film the burial, due to privacy reasons. So instead, her niece’s boyfriend of two months facetimed them. That’s how Rosalie said goodbye to her father.
“To this day I don’t really talk about it, even now trying to recall the events that happened around that time my memory is hazy.”
“I think I’ve blocked a lot of it out of my mind, I don’t want to remember it,” she said.
Rosalie’s sister-in-law Joselle saw first-hand the devastation this caused Rosalie.
“I wasn’t able to hug my sister. She was going through this alone when it shouldn’t have been that way,” she said.
“The government were heartless, I just kept thinking how they would feel if that was their parent,” she said.
“She wasn’t allowed to say goodbye, couldn’t give him a final hug and that’s something she’ll always have to live with, because the government denied her of that,” she said.
Psychologist Judy Biro acknowledged that “COVID19 has impacted everyone in the world. As a consequence, COVID-related deaths have impacted people’s grief responses”.
“Many families, such as Rosalie’s had their traditional mourning practices disrupted and indeed curtailed due to the COVID-19 restrictions.”
“Missing a funeral impedes the grieving process,” she said.
Judy Biro highlighted the benefits of working with a mental health professional to help lean about your grief response and find ways to cope.
“Whether you are experiencing normal grief or complicated grief, talking to someone can help you process the loss.”
For support please contact GriefLine:
Griefline.org.au or
call 1300 845 745
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