A revolution in the sharpener drops another shaving. Each twist casting more scraps of wood and graphite to the floor. For the one handling their instrument, a burning sensation creeps into their fingers. The hands of speedrunners across the world make precise movements to get millimetres closer to their goal. To be the fastest. To do so, they need to take the record from Tanner Ant.
The countdown edges ever closer to 2 minutes and 11 seconds on the timer just in reach. The LiveSplit interface showing just how close each person is to the world record. Fighting the fatigue and pain in their hands, the competitors keep spinning their pencils until they reach the sharpener’s base. In one smooth motion, the hands unload their pencils to reach for the next one.
Tanner Ant, or his online alias SmallAnt, is the world’s fastest pencil sharpener. The Twitch Streamer, YouTuber and speedrunner have been sharing his attempts to achieve his goal since January 2020. He now holds the world record of sharpening 10 pencils to stubs at an impressive 2 minutes and 11 seconds.
While Ant is the fastest, there’s a wider and murky history of pencil sharpening competitions. One of the activity’s earlier online recordings dates back to the event, Fragapalooza 2009. The event asked competitors to sharpen one pencil down to a stub to win a pair of headphones. There may be earlier competitions, but they’ll be unconfirmed due to the little documentation available to prove they exist.
What can be verified, though, is the rise of pencil sharpening speedruns. The pencil sharpening speedruns evolved from the release of the 2015 Artef4ct game, Pencil Sharpening Simulator. Upon its release, users submitted their runs of the game to speedrun.com in categories like 69 pencils. In 2016, these speedruns jumped into the real world when multiple users first uploaded attempts under the category IRL%, where drills were used to sharpen 10 pencils as fast as possible. Later in 2018, users first started posting runs that showed pencils getting sharpened by hand under the “drilless category.”
The run slowly evolved from there. New rules started getting added to regulate runs and moderators reviewed attempts to see if they followed the rules. These rules required the correct lengths of pencils before and after sharpening and preventing mounted sharpeners as some examples. The speedrun also grew in popularity after 2 separate surges in attention.
One surge came from the YouTube channel EZscape with their video Meme Speedruns, where other bizarre challenges were listed with the pencil sharpening speedrun. The second surge came from Tanner Ant’s streams and later 2 videos on the topic. His most popular video, How I became the fastest pencil sharpener in the world, has gained 6.7 million views as of writing.
Becoming the fastest for Tanner Ant didn’t come without problems though. Something all people who attempt the drilless speedrun go through is the blisters that form on your hands. A sentiment that Khloë Gwen has shared on her attempt of the run. Between 3 hours of washing her hands and taking breaks to lessen the pain, she eventually added her attempt to the leaderboards. Khloë upon contemplating the challenge mentioned how her hands still slightly hurt for weeks afterwards.
After knowing the drawbacks, I wanted to go further into this scene. I wanted to understand what compels someone to try the speedrun. To answer my questions, I asked multiple runners in the scene about their motivations. The first one being Jacob C from cinapstv. I sat in a discord call with Jacob C. I wanted to ask him about the speedrun. I can only see his screen avatar. I listen to his lax Californian tone. A hint of fatigue from a long day seems to me.
While not being able to see him, I do recall his attempts and his straining not to lose pace. “It was exhausting,” he told me.
The screenshot is taken from pencil-sharpening speedrun attempt – cinapsv
When recounting his foray into the scene, he noted how his experience started out of mild amusement. Jacob C takes a pause, as he mentions seeing this silly challenge starting to gain traction. He wasn’t interested in being the best, Jacob C acknowledges, rather he was curious how low the record could go. I already had a preconceived idea of why someone would attempt this challenge, and it’s why I was interested in this story in the first place.
It was the absurdity. The bizarre nature of this global competition is captivating. It turns the mundane action of sharpening a pencil into a gauntlet of strain and pain. That very action has evolved into a spectator sport that discusses optimal strategies in forums. In both sports and speedruns, this behaviour is not unusual. What is unusual is the topic this conversation is centred around.
Ryan Piekanski was another runner that shared similar impressions on the challenge. His interest for the run was less about the competition, and more the meme potential. Lamenting on the strange event, Ryan noted the lack of a reason for this speedrun to exist. He also noted the appeal in needing little knowledge or equipment to attempt the challenge. “There’s no right way to do it,” he told me. I realise that’s an important aspect of the speedrun itself. Sharpening a pencil as fast as possible is a topic that’s easy to convey in a few words. In short, the beauty is in its simplicity.
The simple goal of sharpening pencils has a slightly different enjoyment compared to watching gaming speedruns. Watching the skills of a player of gaming speedruns is a mesmerising part of the appeal. Pencil sharpening speedruns are alternatively enjoyable both in its skilled executions, and its utter failures. There are also similarities in how audiences engage with it. Thousands tune in to streams to see someone make their best attempt even though it’s clear that being the fastest after one attempt isn’t realistic.
Most people who will attempt the challenge will try once and retire. There will also be the runners who add to the competition aspect of the challenge. As noted, Tanner Ant is the current world record holder of drilless pencil sharpening. To earn that record, he had to attempt the run multiple times over several months.
He’s not alone in that endeavour either. Runners like FootCream and Cumpyboi have previously held the record and introduced techniques that are consistently used now. While there is competition in the scene, that’s not the soul of the challenge. For this speedrun, the competitive spirit is tied to a sense of curiosity and good-natured fun, which is why many others will likely try to make their claims to the record.
Pencil sharpening speedruns is a separate, bizarre world. For some, it’s a world of competition. For others, it’s a scene of light-hearted fun. No matter what it is to you, it’s a simple way to forget about the uncertain times we live in. Even if it’s for a few hours.
(Featured Image: Screenshot taken from the current world record holding speedrun – SmallAnt)
