After less than a week into spring I jetted up to Queensland for my brother’s bucks weekend.
Now in true Queensland tradition the boys and I went camping in place of strippers and tequila in Brisbane’s Valley district. Two Navaras, three eskies and eight lads loaded we set sail for Moreton Island located and hour and a half by ferry from Brisbane city.
What happened was a combination of rambunctious lads and their antics with clear evidence that the weekend was not thought out enough. With food shortages, 100ml of sunblock for eight grown men and three snorkels to share I thought I’d make a list of things to prepare for.
Make it a weekend – The most obvious reason is that most of your mates don’t work weekends. But there is that other thing that we need to talk about, the girlfriend/ wife/lLife partner. This won’t be for everyone but from my experience the girlfriend/ partner will always be the least enthusiastic about a guy’s trip away. But who knows maybe she’ll be the one pushing you out the door so she can have the house to herself for a weekend? The point is you need to spend maximum time camping to really get the escapist desire out of your system. It’s easy to try to fit everyone into your two days away from the grind of work life but in the end how much time are you giving yourself and if a mate can’t make it until midday before you leave then you tell him where you’ll be and wish him luck getting there before dark.
Transport – Spontaneity is always the most exciting way to experience time away doing something new. But don’t trap yourself. Plan how you’re getting there, the costs and what kind of car you’re going to need. Too many times people are under-prepared and nature has a way of making you pay. Anywhere that is off-road and sandy, take a four-wheel drive. It sounds obvious but you can be sure to see someone who thinks a commodore with traction control will be enough to survive the beaten track; it isn’t. Vehicle of choice for Moreton Island: Nissan Navara turbo diesel. It’s important for every driver to lower the tyre pressure to 20psi before hitting the sand. It’s a smart move to ensure you won’t be the clown holding up traffic on the beach with five feet of sand around your car. But bring a shovel, you’re never safe from getting bogged in the sand.
Navigation – Every trip needs a navigator, even if it’s just being a spotter for McDonald’s golden arches at 5am. As the navigator it is your sole job to get everyone to where they want to go. You do this well and there won’t be a problem, lead the them down the wrong way and you’ll be the butt of every joke for the rest of the weekend; just hope you only have to see them on weekends. A good idea is to take UHF radios if travelling in a convoy. What isn’t a good idea is using a radio as a stage to broadcast your humour; these things aren’t one way communication and you never know who else is listening.
Music – Music is one of the most important things to any trip. It’s the soundtrack for your travelling show. So what ever you do don’t play niche music. If you’re from Melbourne travelling with a bunch of Queenslanders don’t put a mix tape of some underground dubstep gig you went to the week before; it won’t be received well. If in doubt play the crowd pleasers.
Food – Now this is where most fail. Food is important. There isn’t a 7/11 down the beach for you to replenish your supplyies and if there is a convenience store odds are the prices won’t be so convenient. For the boys’ weekend here’s a list that won’t blow the budget for a two day trip.
- 2 steaks (each)
- Potatoes
- BBQ jaffle iron
- Barbecue grill plate
- Sausages (12 pack)
- Tomato sauce
- Barbecue sauce
- Loaf of bread
- 15 litre water container
- Salt and pepper
- Up and go breakfast smoothies (6 pack)
- Bag of cashews
- Butter
- Plates, cutlery and cups (And a plan to keep them clean)
- And of course lollies, coke, chips and let’s not forget alcohol (Just remember your hydration levels).
Recreation – Now once you’ve settled yourself in and know where you’re setting up camp it’s time to find the fun things to do, after all islands like Moreton are an adult’s playground. Planning ahead is always smart otherwise you won’t pack the right gear. You don’t want to be standing on the beach looking at the shipwrecks dispersed across the coastline and not have packed snorkel and fins. Another great thing to do on Moreton and most of Australia’s sand islands is dune boarding. It hurts, you’ll get sand everywhere,, and I mean everywhere but you’ll definitely spend the time laughing, spitting sand and washing grazes. The best way to dune board is to get some chip board from Bunning’s or a construction site, its up to you if you want to pay for it, and some wax candles. One side to the board will be waxy and the other rough. On the wax side rub the candle to cover the whole surface as you would a surfboard. Just know the more wax the less friction going down. If you’re going to Morton the ferry has boards to sell for $8 each. Enjoy.
Surviving in the wilderness – Try not setting fire to it. That’s probably the most important point. Queensland is almost always in a state of fire prevention. It’s dry, dead and flammable.
Queensland is beautiful we’ve all been told this. But it’s also dangerous. Every paradise has its thorns and Queensland has a surplus of thorns. There are brown snakes, the blue ringed octopus, sting rays, stone fish, riptides, Great White sharks,sun stroke and even that shard of glass from the last camper who threw his beer bottle into the bush. Three simple things to know to avoid these; Watch your footing, wear sunscreen and travel in groups (it increases your odds).
Wildlife – Speaking of wildlife the best thing you can do to avoid a run in is to watch from a distance. But you’re sure to have one of the party partial to wanting to kill everything in sight. The first sign of this nature is to check if any of your mates packed a spear gun. If they have, don’t go swimming with them. With all that said some of the wildlife is more than happy to let you hang around. Moreton Island’s east coastline is dotted with ship wrecks that act like reefs. These reefs harbor a lot of marine life and often you’ll be lucky to see a wobbegong taking refuge under the bow of a sunken sand dredge.
Playing with fire – The whole discussion about fire wasn’t long enough so here’s a dedicated paragraph for to how to act around fire. Firstly have fun. Don’t police the fire or sit around telling others what they should and shouldn’t do. But don’t be a tool and stack it so high all the boys lose their leg hair standing five metres from the fire. If you and your friends all want to drink, a lot, make a fire and leave it alone. But if you think you or one of your mates are responsible around Prometheus’ gift then a fun way the enjoy fire is to add gunpowder. Wrapping gunpowder and binding the package with masking tape makes the best smoke bomb. Just be mindful of flying embers.
Unpacking the weekend – The biggest effort of any camping trip is getting home and using what’s left of your energy to unpack and clean up. Just make sure your mates don’t sneak off home and leave the work to you. The biggest deal is the car. There will be sand everywhere. For the most part the combination of salt in the water and air as well as the troves of sand that have collected throughout the undercarriage the car needs a good wash. Most car washes near the ferry will have an undercarriage wash should you feel too tired to do it yourself but if you care about your car, and have the energy, it’s best you do it with a hose. Automation has a way of not working on all cars. Also after the weekend and spending $30 on a automated carwash with an 80 percent success rate is an unnecessary expense after spending a couple of hundred.
The next time you’re going on a trip take a moment to make sure you’re prepared, your lady/ partner is placated and you know what to do in an emergency.
For more on Moreton Island and the ferry go to: http://www.moretonislandadventures.com.au/travel/fares
