Football may be viewed by some as being inferior, low-brow or an industry without a proper code of conduct or sense of etiquette.
But among fans is an unwritten code, viewed in their eyes as nothing short of sacred.
While there are no direct repercussions for such transgressions of said code, it can tarnish your reputation among the football fan community.
Here are the five big no-nos of what not to do as a football fan.
1. WEARING OTHER SUPPORTER GEAR
When you go to a game of football, there’s nothing better than wearing your team’s colours with pride and uniting together with fellow supporters in opposition to your rivals.
There are two teams which take to the field every match.
But why do select individuals think it’s acceptable to sour the atmosphere by wearing the apparel of a team who are not participating.
We’re all for team pride and showing your colours, but when you’re at a match – and your supported team is not playing – you do not wear their uniform.
It’s like wearing tracksuit pants to a wedding. It’s just not on.
2. TELLING FANS HOW TO BEHAVE
As a supporter, there are some things which must be called out.
Racism, sexism or fan violence are among some of the issues which should be addressed on the spot, and in the first few weeks of this season, too many of these virulent acts have been on display.
Yet calling out a passionate fan for celebrating their team’s efforts, yelling the traditional “baaaalll” (even though it may be a completely ludicrous call) or telling one to rein it in is totally unacceptable and just unsportsmanlike.
Footy is a passionate game with the emotions worn on the sleeve.
If you stifle that, there are some serious questions which need to be asked of your character.
3. WALKING ACROSS THE AISLES
Everyone pays hard-earned money to attend the footy and find the perfect seat to view the game.
Some sacrifice their time with friends and family to get a quality seat in the general admission bays.
So there’s nothing more infuriating than having your perfect view obstructed constantly by indecisive, obtrusive and oblivious spectators who can’t sit still and watch the game for at least a full quarter.
Trips through the aisles are acceptable. Bathroom breaks, food replenishments are totally fine, BUT must be limited to ONE trip per quarter at an absolute maximum.
There is nothing worse than having to repeatedly stand up and/or do the awkward shuffle of the legs for an ignorant fan carrying trays of food and beer to pass.
More often than not, they will spill beer on you in the process, staining your perfect new pair of pants.
Most annoyingly, these moments tend to occur during the most exciting parts of the game, and these obstructers will tend to notice the big moment is happening and will stop moving in the middle of the aisle, in turn blocking your view.
Shame.
4. BEING ON YOUR PHONE DURING PLAY
In the 21st century, the prevalence of digital devices is unparalleled.
There is no issue with actually being on your phone whatsoever, it can be used to capture memories, meet up with mates or find out the latest news and views before (and even during) the game.
Pulling them out at the football for extended periods however, is completely against the spirit of the game.
If you are going to spend the entire two hours of your hard-earned money doing exactly the same thing you would do at home like watch another show, be consistently on messenger or being the annoying stats guy – STAY HOME.
Stats and Twitter can be checked in special circumstances such as an injury or at the end of quarters.
No one cares about how many metres a team has gained or how many one-percenters your favourite player has – they want to know the score or how many SuperCoach points their key player has at half-time.
Watch the game – it’s far more interesting than seeing who hasn’t replied to your Snapchat streak.
5. EATING ETIQUETTE
Now this is a big one.
There are certain foods at the football which must be consumed according to a strict and unwavering set of guidelines, passed on from generation to generation.
We may have seen cheeseboards and high teas at football before, but when it comes to the traditional meat pie, there is only one way to eat it.
With your hands. And with sauce on top.
Not with a fork, not removing the precious layer of pastry on top.
And certainly not without blowing on it before consumption.
It will result in the occasional burn to the roof of your mouth and the perception that you look like a complete and utter buffoon. But among footy fans, this is tradition.
There’s no other way to eat a pie. That’s a non-negotiable.
If you decide to eat it any other way, buy a sausage roll.
More importantly however, you don’t belong in the ground.
